A Year Ago Today...

A year ago today I moved out of my marital house and into my new home and my new life in Cardiff. I was absolutely terrified about what my new life would have in store for me and whether I was making the right decision or not.

My future self has never been so grateful in all my life. I love myself for being brave enough to make the decision to actually leave my old life and start a new one with a whole load of fear, terror and excitement in my heart.

My best friend in the whole wide world helped me through it. She held my hand, she let me cry and she made me giggle when I was really down. She told me I was strong enough to start my new life on my moving day when I phoned her in tears as I was terrified of what was ahead of me. She helped me move into my lovely new home, she took charge and helped me unpack my air bed so I had somewhere to sleep on my first night. She bought me a plant even though she knows that I kill all living things but its still alive a year later... I see that as a sign! 

See... not dead!

She was my strength when I didn't think I had any and she means more to me than I could ever put in writing.

Yep, we are!

I have amazing friends around me who were there for me when I was low or lonely. They took me out for food, they text me to check I was ok and called me just for a chat when they sensed I wasn't doing very well. My friends live all over the UK but they were so supportive and made the first year of my single life so much easier. I feel so lucky to have them in my life and am grateful every single day.

Tonight I am going out with some of my amazing friends to celebrate my year of freedom and also my 38th birthday which is in a couple of days time. I plan to drink lots, dance lots and laugh constantly. My new life is all about fun and laughter as they are so damn important to me. I was unhappy for so long that I'm making up for it now and won't allow myself to go back to the darkness I found in my last relationship.

I LOVE MY LIFE! I absolutely love my life and I am so damn glad I took the plunge and faced all my fear. I am so happy now and won't let anyone or anything jeopardise that. 

I've learned to always be myself and put happiness first! Life is too short to be anything but happy with your choices.

While writing my blog I came across this and immediately felt that it was written about me.

#PushingBackHarder

Say Yes!

One thing I have learnt over the last few months is that saying yes opens so many doors to new opportunities and experiences. I'm usually one to shy away from new things as I feared I would be rubbish at it so why bother?! But I have completely changed my outlook and am trying so many new things, I'm loving every second of it too. 

In December, a couple of good friends that I used to work with asked me to go climbing with them. They have been asking on and off for about 4 years and I always said no because my ex wasn't happy about it when I mentioned it to him after their first invite. I was... how can I put this diplomatically?.. very controlled by his opinion and going against it wasn't worth the argument so I rarely did anything I wanted. That was as much my fault as his, I could've stood up for myself but I wasn't strong enough so missed out on so many opportunities. All that has changed!

I took my good friends up on their offer and went climbing for the first time. I was pretty terrified as my old fears of "I won't be any good at it!" popped up but I pushed them down and did it anyway. I am hooked! I love climbing, it's such an amazing mental and physical challenge. I have also passed my belay test so don't need to be signed in or supervised any more... I'm a proper climbing now!!

My first night climbing and I haven't looked back since!

I completed a 6a level climb on my 3rd visit... pretty impressive!

The next thing I said yes to was my first Cardiff Parkrun. I was determined to meet new people/runners and make new friends so started chatting away to anyone who would stand still for 5 seconds. Now anyone who really knows me will know what an achievement this is for me. I have made quite a few friends in just a couple of weeks and have also been 'adopted' by a local running club who I will officially join from April.

Me and Katie giving it our all!

I also started a new job at the beginning of February and am having such a good time there. Everyone is so nice and friendly. One of my new colleagues invited us all to a music recital one lunch time and my first response was "nah". I have no idea why that popped into my head first but I soon squashed it down and took her up on the offer. I am so glad I did as the excellent performers were from the Royal Welsh School of Music and Drama in Cardiff, it was a lovely experience and one that I hope to do again.

Full of gifted performers

I've also been invited to a Pampered Chef night at another new colleagues home. I think it's a posh version of a tuppawear party but it means I get to socialise and meet new people so I'm up for it!

www.pamperedchef.co.uk

A quick word or warning... saying yes is great but you also have to have some sort of self-preservation. Don't take unnecessary risks with your health, mental health or life, or with anyone else's for that matter.

Some wise person (I have no idea who) once said... "Say yes more often and your life will lead you in amazing journeys and adventures."

As my Besty asks me every time I have a dilemma "would you rather be on your death bed wishing you'd had the guts to do it or glad that you gave it a go?" I choose glad I did it EVERY time! Life is too short for regrets or 'what ifs', I've learnt that the hard way over the last 30 odd years and I refuse to allow fear to dictate my path in life.

So go out there and grab those opportunities; ask that girl/guy out, take that career leap, go out when you really don't want to, join a club, take up a new hobby, do SOMETHING cos you never know where it might lead or how amazing your next experience will be. Don't do it someday, do it today!

Yes you could fall on your face or feel a bit embarrassed but forget about that and go for it anyway, imagine how awesome it will feel all the times that it goes your way.

#PushingBackHarder

My Awesome 2015, The Story So Far...

Recently I was told by 2 people that my story has inspired them to start working out and get fit again. I was gobsmacked and so damn happy. I started this blog hoping that someone might read it and it would help them in some way, so for 2 people to say this to me within a few months of me starting the blog is just amazing!

We've just passed the middle of February so I thought it was time to do an update on my awesome start to 2015:

1) Have more fun

I'm still climbing each week at Boulders and recently I passed my belay test so can climb without supervision and don't need to be signed it. I'm a proper climber now and loving it! It challenges me mentally and physically plus I get to see my climbing partners a lot more often.

I have been introduced to the awesomeness of red wine and am enjoying receiving my education, plus it's a good excuse to have a cheeky glass or 2 at the weekend.

Now that's my kind of relationship

2) Eat a bit healthier

Well the healthy eating isn't going exactly to plan. I have only just finished working my way through the Christmas goodies and all the cake I've been baking but I've bought more fruit to snack on so my intentions are good.

Pretty much

This definitely counts!

3) Spend more time with the people I care about and dump the time wasters

A few weekends ago I went to visit my good friends Andria and Ian. Winston was very excited about this as he got to see his pal Scrappy and meet his little brother Duncan. It was a great weekend and I need to make more effort to visit friends this year as I always have an amazing time.

The 3 musketeers

I've also been catching up with my friends more often, we've promised each other that this year we'll make more effort to hang out as we enjoy it so much.

I started my new job and have been on some training courses which have been great. I also swapped numbers and emails with 3 of the other attendees so I'm hoping we'll stay in contact and meet up again. Usually I would avoid exchanging numbers etc as my ex didn't like me having friends but I actually suggested we keep in contact and they seemed really pleased. 2 of them are also runners!

Dating has gone a bit quiet because I've come off online dating, I want to give meeting someone in the real world a chance plus I found it to be a tad frustrating and a bit too much pressure. I met some great guys and have made a couple of friends along the way so it definitely had it's good points.

I ditched 2 of my non-negotiables as I realised that they were aimed at the situation I was in with my ex and that I would do things completely differently next time around. I had to keep my rule of 6 foot and above though, I like my high heels too much!

I'm really looking forward to seeing what the future holds for my love life but want to take things slowly and just have a lot of fun with 'him'. I've worked really hard to build a new life for myself and sometimes I get a bit scared that I'll lose it all again.

4) Exercise harder

I have started doing the Cardiff Parkrun 5K on a Saturday morning and they're really good. I've beaten my personal best (PB) a couple of times and met a few new running friends. I've been chatting to some runners who belong to running clubs and will definitely join one in a couple of months. I think the training will help me become a stronger runner plus I'll enjoy the social side of the club too.

The running community is massive and so welcoming, I feel connect to another runner straight away. It's like we have a common bond and automatically feel supportive of each other.

Smiling even though it was freezing!

I'm also doing the Runkeeper sub 60 10K goal training plan which is quite challenging but I can't wait for the weather to warm up and the nights to get lighter so I can hit the road again. The treadmill is not fun anymore!

5) Take part in more races

I found a brilliant 5K race to do with my Besty Lynn and we'll hopefully rope some other fabulous ladies in too. It's the Race for Life Pretty Muddy 5K Obstacle Course and it's going to be amazing!

Mud... pink... obstacles... YAY!

Lynn and I are also going to do the 5K colour run. You basically run 5K while people throw colour powder at you. It's going to be epic!!

Hit me with as much colour as possible!

I also signed up for the Cardiff 10K in September, I love Cardiff so running around it will be great.

6) New job

I started my new job at the beginning of February and I had the best first day ever, they cheered and hugged me when I arrived!

I am very nearly this happy at work!

So far I am rocking 2015 and loving every day of it! My life seems to be on the right path (finally!) and I feel so happy and content. When I first started this journey in October 2014, I never imagined how quickly I would pick myself up, dust myself off and kick life's ass. I am so proud of myself and all that I have achieved so far.

#PushingBackHarder

Dating in the 'Diff Part 2

Well I'm 2 months on from my last Dating in the 'Diff blog, it's been a good couple of months but I've decided to come off online dating for a while and just see what happens in 'real-life'. 

Online dating was a lot of fun, I chatted with some really great guys and met up with some too but it can also be a tad frustrating for many reasons

Not sure which is the best option!

I think that's only fair!

There are the guys who are actually too busy to date and just like to message, the guys who don't seem to know what they want or whether they actually want to date anyone, the guys who don't give you chance to reply and message you 3 more times asking why you haven't replied yet and then there's the guy who put "no hook-ups please" on his profile but that's clearly all he is actually after because he throws a tantrum when you won't drop everything to go over to his place and, well, drop everything!

And then there are the stalkers!

They are the gems who 'wink' at you, who 'wink' at you again... and again... and again. Seriously mate take the hint. You winked at me and I looked at your profile but you weren't for me so I didn't wink back. That's not an invitation to continuously wink at me and then message me asking why I haven't winked back or messaged you. No offence but you're just not my cup of tea.

*blocked*

There have also been some conversations which have turned a bit creepy, these usually involve the guy making suggestive comments very early on. One guy asked me if I liked to 'wrestle' so I told him about my 3rd Dan in Taekwondo and that I'd happily spar with him and try not to hurt him. Didn't hear from him again... I wonder why?!

Another guy asked me if I liked to dress up... it turns out he participates in cowboy themed re-enactment weekends and wanted to know if I was up for it.

Tinder was very entertaining for a while but it ended up being a lot of men posting photos (known as Moments) of themselves topless in the gym changing rooms.

*yawns* So not impressed!

Now don't get me wrong, I've met some really great guys online and had some brilliant dates but it all just feels too forced and pressurised. I want to meet someone and have fun with them, just get together and have a giggle without the added pressure of 'where is this going?'. I have no plans to settle down for a long time. At the same time though I do have morals and know my self-worth so if you want to date me then you have to just date me.

I went on a couple of dates recently with one guy who made me laugh constantly and I realised that it was the first date where I was actually 100% myself. There was no trying to impress, no nerves and I didn't have to try to hide my slightly (very!) inappropriate sense of humour, I was just me and I loved it. So I'm taking that lesson with me on future dates, if I don't feel like I can be myself then he clearly isn't for me!

The next person I start dating might be someone I've met before, he may already be in my life or he might be a complete stranger so I'm just going to carry on having fun, meeting people and see what happens.

In the meantime, you'll find me out running (well in the gym until this weather warms up a bit), walking my dog, getting my yoga on, catching up with my awesome friends or hanging off the top of a wall by a piece of rope in my harness at Boulders. Don't be shy, come and say hello, I don't bite... well, unless you like that kind of thing.

#PushingBackHarder

My Session with a Personal Trainer

On Tuesday I had my free session with a personal trainer at my gym, DW Fitness Club. My PT is called Dave and he managed to kill me in less than an hour *high 5s Dave*

I love my gym... I never thought I'd say that!

Dave sat down with me and we discussed my goals and how I want to train to achieve them. My main goal is being ready for the Cardiff Half Marathon on 4th October this year!

Sorry, have I already mentioned once or twice that I'm running a half marathon??!!

I'm already doing a lot of treadmill time and know to do short runs, medium runs, long runs, interval training, hill training etc but I knew I had to do some strength training to stay injury free.

Dave had me doing squats, press-ups, more squats with a heavy ball that I had to lift over my head and some arm exercises with a giant elastic band... yes, these are the technical names obviously!

Amen!

Dave warned me that if I didn't do the exercises correctly then he would also make me do burpees... Dave is evil!

Luckily I am awesome and didn't have to do a single burpee! *high 5s self*

I really enjoyed the PT session but somehow I lost the ability to use my legs afterwards. For the last few days I have had a lot of trouble with sitting down, standing up and using stairs. Those squats killed me but I LOVED them! 

I am slowly recovering the use of my legs without wincing every time I do anything and the weird thing is that I'm missing the pain! I know, crazy!

Gotta love workout pain!

The strength workout is all exercises that I can do at home so I am emptying out my spare room and turning it into my workout room. I've got my yoga mat, weights, foam roller, resistance bands, bling board and I'm getting a gym ball.

This is what I plan to use it for...

 This is probably what I'll do while sitting on it...

#PushingBackHarder