Why I Run

I read a few running blogs and it got me thinking about why I run. Initially I started running to control my weight and I assumed it would just be another form of exercise that I tried and hated but I fell in love with it so now I run because I can and because I want to. Oh and so that I can eat whatever I want and not feel consumed in guilt.

Spaghetti and syrup and candy, oh my!

Running is also my therapy, when life gets me down I put on my runners, grab my ipod and head out of the door. I was injured (tendinitis and plantar fasciitis) over Christmas and New Year so couldn't run and thought I was going insane. Luckily I have an awesome physio who has got me back out there again.

Running with a touch of freestyle dancing thrown in

I run to feel good about myself, to become stronger and more confident. It helps me kick my low self-esteem up the butt and reminds me how amazing I am.

WW has totally nailed the Power Pose

It challenges me to push myself and achieve things I never thought were possible.

Through running, I've met some great people and become part of a new family.

My Pegs

I still run for all those reasons but now I have a new one to add to the list. I now also run to help me deal with my grief over losing my Dad.

He died last weekend and I feel as though my world has ended. The day after he died, I got up and went out for a run. I ran and I cried for 9.5 miles. There were times during that run when I just wanted to give up and go home so I could crawl into bed and not come out again but I kept going. I kept reminding myself that he wouldn't want me to give up.

I feel that it's even more important to train for my marathon now, he'd sponsored me to do it so would want me to keep going and would be so mad at me if I didn't.

So the Manchester marathon, my first ever marathon, is for you Dad. I love you and miss you every day xx

I'm Back! In Your Face Injury!

After 2 & 1/2 weeks of no running and 3 sessions with my amazing physio Carolin at DTR Clinic in Cardiff I am back running again. In your face injury!

Physio session number 2 included more of the zappy machine and ultrasound.

Carolin then massaged my calf. I say massaged as that's what she called it but I would probably refer to it more like inflicting punishment as though my calf had hugely offended her. It hurt like **** but all I could do is laugh. I laughed through the pain and willed it to be over.

Apparently my calf is very tight so I have to heat it and then stretch it every day. I was then taped up and sent home.

Session 3 was more of the zappy machine and then my foot was wrapped up in a hot blanket, it was like a day at the spa.

Until Carolin decided to "massage" my calf again. Hello pain! Hello uncontrollable laughter! I think I might be a bit weird.

Carolin then scared the pants off me by saying that she wanted me to do a short run (no more than 20 mins) at the weekend to see how my foot goes. She warned me that it would flare up again but to just rest and ice it afterwards.

You want me to do what??

I got up and put my running kit on then set out for my first run. My foot felt ok, I had a bit of discomfort but then OMG my lungs! They felt like they were on fire!

Am I dying? I think I'm dying!

My run was a total of 1.45 miles and I had to walk twice. TWICE! My foot felt pretty good but my fitness must've upped and moved out.

First post injury run

Carolin had said that if my first run was successful then I was to get back on with my marathon training. My next run was supposed to be a Pegasus club run on Wednesday night but it was chucking it down with rain so I wussed out and hit the treadmill instead.

The dreadmill... how I loath you!

I did a very easy 5k run and had no pain in my foot! My next run was planned for the weekend but first I needed to go running shoe shopping!

My new bad boys!

Winston was clearly impressed!

On Saturday some of my Pegs had planned a 12 mile run and I decided to join them for the first 4 miles. They altered their planned route so that we could do a 4 miles ish loop for me and then they would drop me off and carry on with the rest of their run.

I was pretty scared about doing the run as I wasn't sure how my foot would hold up so was relieved to be doing it with friends. We did a total of 5.5 miles and apart from a few twinges my foot held up nicely. My fitness was better but still not great and the 5.5 miles felt like 15. I know I'll get it back quickly enough though so I'm not too worried.

Pre-run selfie!

Being part of a running club has been the best thing to happen to me and my running. I get to spend time with a group of people who all love running and who also love to support each other. They are awesome!

They kept in contact when I was injured and helped me get back to running when I was scared. I honestly don't think I could've got through this and still feel confident for my marathon without them.

It's only 81 days until the Manchester marathon so now my life is back to running and trying to raise some money for Friends of the Dogs Wales, the work they doing is amazing and saves so many dogs lives. If you can spare some pennies then please click here to help the puppies!

Injury Strikes!

I'm injured! I can't run and I feel as though I'm losing my mind! Ok so that's probably a bit dramatic but running keeps me sane and I can't do it so feel as though I'm going insane.

Maybe I should start at the beginning. The Wednesday before Christmas I went for my usual club run with Pegasus and from the start I had a bit of pain along the side of my right foot. I told myself to man up and get on with it, that it was nothing and I could just run it off. We did 6 miles and I was in pain the whole time but I just kept going. I'm an idiot but an idiot that has learnt a hard lesson.

Yep, that's pretty much how I feel!

I spent from Christmas Eve to a couple of days ago not being able to walk, I just had to limp along. It felt better when I was on tiptoes but still hurt like hell. To say I was terrified about what damage I had done is an understatement, I obviously imagined the worst and let my mind go wild.

Today I went to physio at DTR in Cathays, Cardiff. They were highly recommended by a running buddy who suffered from the dreaded plantar fasciitis earlier this year and was fixed in time for the London Marathon. I was sat in the waiting room on the verge of tears. I have been training so hard for my marathon and the thought of not being fit enough to run it was all I could think about. Add on the days of frustration from not running and there I was, a near blubbering mess! This is my first running injury and I have no idea what to expect.

Ok so I wasn't this bad... jeez get a grip love!

Carolin took me into one of the bays and asked me what the problem was. I don't know how I didn't cry my eyes out but I kept my crazy together and explained what had happened. She poked and prodded my foot while I grimaced with the pain then said she suspected tendinitis and that we can get me all fixed up ready for my marathon! Yay! I could've kissed her! The relief was incredible.

She started the treatment by hooking me up to a machine that I will refer to as zappy as I can't remember it's actual name.

Here's zappy!!

Zappy made my foot feel warm and tingly, I was given some magazines and told to relax. After about 10-15 minutes (no idea really, I'm totally guessing!) Carolin came back and detached me then brought out this bad boy...

Will my foot get a tan?

I had 9 minutes of ultrasound on the tendons then Carolin poked and prodded some more. I'd taken my runners with me just in case and I'm glad I did. She examined them and noticed that part of the shoe along the side of my foot was ridged and had no give.

As soon as I put it back on, a really sharp pain shot through my foot. My runners and how they fit my feet have caused the damage so I can't wear them again, it's time to go runner shopping again!!

Ooooooooooooo runners!

Carolin taped me up and wants to see me again on Monday, I'm not allowed to exercise until she gives me the ok. I have to rest, ice and elevate it as much as possible.

Best colour tape ever!

So I am hugely relieved that this is fixable but still hugely frustrated that I can't run yet. I didn't realise just how much I rely on going for a run to clear my head and keep me grounded. Running is how I control my weight, I run so that I can eat what I want without the worry of piling on the pounds. It's Christmas and I have hardly indulged, in fact I've been told by a few different people that I've lost weight. The stress of not knowing what was wrong and my paranoia at my weight ballooning because I can't burn the calories off has left me with no appetite.

Running and training for my marathon is a massive part of me and my life. I plan everything around my running. I'm a runner and I can't run. I know I will heal and I'll be back out there with my running buddies soon so just need to keep myself busy and stay patient. Yeah, let's see how well that goes shall we?!

Run 26.2 Miles and Help The Puppies!

I have finally set up my fundraising page for Friends of the Dogs!

I know, right!

For those of you who haven't read my Marathon Madness and Puppy Dogs blog, I am running my first marathon in April 2016 and have decided to keep myself focussed by raising money for Friends of the Dogs.

Awwwwwwww!

I need all the help I can get, my training isn't going very well right now. Today's run started at 6am and it was raining that drizzly, soak-you-in-a-second kind of rain. I was miserable, cold, wet and wanted to quit before I reached the end of my road. I spent the whole run chanting "think of the puppy dogs... think of the puppy dogs" and it helped, I completed the run.

If you would like to help me raise as much money as possible then please go to https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/saramorgan4. Every penny helps and will be greatly appreciated.

A Girls Night in with Tinder... What Could Go Wrong?!

I have been known to do a crazy thing now and again but I think last night was the craziest of them all so far!

Saturday night was Tinder night at my friend L's house. A bunch of ladies got together for a night in with some very food, a good old giggle and a Tinder account or 3.

It's where all the cool kids hang out!

Our instructions from our host were this:

• Bring food and drink
• Set up a brand new Tinder account - if you currently have one then delete it so you can start fresh
• Do not touch new Tinder account... don't even take a sneaky peek at it!

We all arrived at L's house with our instructions completed. The next instruction was to give your phone/iPad with new Tinder account on it to another lady to use on your behalf. Yes, you read that right, I had to give my iPad to someone else to be me!

The aim of the night was to swipe right (for like) or swipe left (for no way!) for your friend and get as many matches as possible while making sure you only swipe right for people who you would actually want her to date. The first person to set up 3 meets* for her friend was the winner and hopefully the Tinder account owner gets to meet some nice guys.

*A 'meet' is not a first date, it's just a coffee for an hour or so to see if you get on. After this you either arrange a first date or change your identity. Back in the olden days you would see someone in a pub, have a chat and then arrange a first date, you wouldn't class your first encounter as a first date. Same in the online world and it takes the pressure off.

Calm down Oprah!

L and T grabbed my iPad and I grabbed T's iPhone! Now this is where you probably think we're crazy and usually I would agree but, to be perfectly honest, how much worse could their choices be for me? I've not exactly picked the best men to date so why not put my love life in someone else's hands. Perfectly logical!

My thoughts exactly!

The evening started with us sitting around the table in the conservatory, L had prepared meats, prawns and veggies for us to cook on a table top grill - it was great and meant L could relax and not have to keep an eye on the cooker (although the sweet potato fries in the actifry gadget ended up cremated!) 

I see T and L a lot so they know me pretty well, they know my 2 non-negotiables are 6ft and above and a non-smoker. I wasn't quite sure that they were remembering these 2 vital facts especially when evil laughs and hysterical laughter could be heard for miles around.

He's probably not that short!

Clearly a romantic!

Pretty sure this is Dave, 43 from Porthcawl

Soon the matches started to flood in and it was time to message with our admirers. We kept it simple and we kept to the facts (ish) so that the Tinder account owner could pick up the conversation if she was interested in the man we had chosen for her. 

This rule was kept to with all messages except one. That one exception was a guy we will call Creepy. He was clearly not a gentleman and was matched with myself and T so we decided to have a little fun with Creepy and see how long it took for us to get busted. 

We started off asking and answering questions in a similar way. It turned out that Creepy wasn't talking to anybody else on Tinder except for me... apparently. Now we're all grown ups and we all know that you talk to numerous people at once until you start actually dating someone so why the lie? Without going into details, Creepy was well and truly earning his nickname by the end of the messaging and we had to be very blatant before he realised what was going on and we were busted. 

So long sucker!

Online dating can be a hard and soul destroying thing to do. I've tried it a few times and met some lovely guys but the percentage of creeps/weirdos usually outweighs the good ones. Swiping left and right and is much more fun when done with a group of friends then sitting on your sofa at home alone. We had such a giggle. The night was a great success, we might not have scored the 3 meets each but we had so much fun trying. I highly recommend having your own Tinder night in!

Marathon Madness and Puppy Dogs!

Way back in April I entered the ballot for the London marathon after an amazing run with my club Pegasus. I hadn't even run a half marathon yet, or even more that 10K for that matter, but decided to do it anyway.

Yes I probably am!

I was 99% sure I wouldn't get a place as it's virtually impossible these day and I was right, I didn't get in. A lot of people found out by receiving one of 2 magazines, either the bumble bee for accepted or Spiderman for rejection. I received neither. Nope, I''m not worthy of a magazine apparently! Booooooooooooooooo!

I decided to say sod it to the London marathon and hello to the Manchester marathon on 10th April 2016! As it turns out, quite a lot of my Pegs didn't get into London either and are doing Manchester instead so it's going to be a club weekend away.

ROAD TRIP!!

I have already drafted a marathon training plan that has me running 4 times a week plus cross training once a week, I'll do either yoga or spin or both depending on how busy my week is.

I've also decided to raise money for charity and have chosen Friends of the Dogs (www.friendsofthedogs.org.uk). They work closely with Cardiff Dogs Home, local rescues and other animal welfare charities to help stray and abandoned dogs in Wales find their forever homes. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm crazy about dogs and wish I could rescue many more but I can't so want to raise money for them instead.

Awwwwwwww!

So this is where you come in kind people who read my blog! I shall be setting up a charity giving page in the next couple of weeks and will start to promote my fundraising. I will be eternally grateful if you can spare some pennies to help me raise money for this amazing charity. Your reward will be hearing me moan about my marathon training, how much it hurts and how hungry I am from now until 10th April 2016!

I shall keep you updated on my marathon training progress and how my fundraising is going. Any donation, no matter how small, will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Dating in the 'Diff Part 3

I haven't written a blog about my dating experiences in a while because I met a man and fell in love. Now before you say "awwwwwww" it all went to shit and I'm single again. There's still no need to say "awwwwww" though because I'm doing ok.

It all started when I was a bit bored over Easter and decided to sign up to POF (AKA Plenty of Fish) as some of my colleagues had told me it's where all the single people in Cardiff hang out. And they weren't wrong, I saw quite a few of the people I had dated or even just messaged with on match.com or Tinder so I quickly blocked them all and started my new online dating experience.

It reminded me that I hate online dating. It sucks. It can make you feel as high as a kite one minute and a self-conscious wreck the next. You have to be pretty damn self-assured to stick it out. 

I lasted 10 days but in those 10 days I chatted to a man and we agreed to meet up. I always try not to get my hopes up before the first 'meet' as people can be so different to their online profiles.

To cut a long story short, we met, we dated, we fell in love, we talked about sharing the future together, we made promises that we probably shouldn't have made yet then eventually our differences started to show and the issues caused weren't fixable. I won't go into details as that's not fair on either of us but recently I made the decision to end it. It was horrible and heartbreaking but I know deep down that it was for the best. He is a lovely man but I'm not the one for him and we both deserve to find our 'one'.

Although I'm sad and feeling hurt by the whole experience, I'm actually proud of myself too. As soon as I realised that things weren't going to improve and the issues would always be part of the relationship, I decided to end it instead of fearing that any relationship would be better than no relationship. Old Sara would have clung on for dear life rather than be single. This Sara is not afraid to be single and sometimes feel a bit lonely, she knows her own worth and that being in no relationship is better than being in one that isn't working. Sometimes I can't believe how much I've changed over the last 18 months.

So it's just me and my gorgeous boy again for a while. 

I'm sure running shoes count!

I'm going to focus on me. I've just signed up for the Manchester marathon in April 2016 so need to sort out a training plan and stick to it. This will involve a lot of running, eating, aching, sleeping and feeling a whole range of emotions. It's going to be awesome!

Yeah I am!

I'm going to spend more time seeing friends and having fun. My first year in Cardiff was pretty lonely but this year I've made more friends and become part of a running club family. I feel so grateful as I have a fantastic circle of amazing people in my life who are all extremely supportive of me and believe in me. 

I was shopping a couple of months ago and came across a pink notebook with gold writing on the front that simply said "Believe in yourself" and I knew I had to buy it. I got it home but quickly realised I had no idea what to write in it. It suddenly felt like I didn't know how to believe in myself any more so I put it to one side and left it there. 

Recently I was watching a documentary and I heard a Doctor say she used to write "I accept myself unconditionally right now" on the bottom of every prescription she gave out as she was aware that so many people just didn't accept themselves. I know I've let my self-esteem slip recently and know that I'd never actually got to a point where I felt like I accepted myself but I really, really want to. That quote was the first thing I wrote in my new notebook and now it's time to focus on me, to prioritise me, to believe in myself again.