Cardiff Bay 5 Mile Race Day!

On Bank Holiday Monday I got out of bed and drove to Cardiff Bay for the appropriately named Cardiff Bay 5 Mile run.

Cardiff Bay... 5 miles

It was my first race as a member of Pegasus Running Club and I was strangely calm about the whole thing. I got there nice and early to sign in and get my race pack.

Race day selfie with Katie

Kitted up and ready to run!

The girls and I in the club had a discussion about the best time to go to the loo as we all knew we had to leave it late enough so we didn't need to pee when we started running but not too late otherwise there would be a big queue.

Timing is essential!

We had time for a quick team photo 

Team Pegasus!

We all gathered at the starting line and it seemed to take ages but that meant time for another couple of photos 

Full of smiles and pure terror!

Cheeeeeeeeeeese!

The race started and Katie and I stuck together to make sure we didn't get carried away with the crowd and take off too quickly otherwise that would've ruined our whole race plan... not that we actually had a proper race plan, it was more of a 'one foot in front of the other for 5 miles' kind of a plan.

I can see the finish line!!

I wanted to complete the run in under 60 mins (sub 60) and totally smashed it by finishing in 54 mins and 22 seconds!

Wooooo hooooooo!

Today's race reward was a shiny medal so we all did a lot of posing with our new jewellery 

Say armadillo!

I was totally buzzing after the race and wanted to do it all over again. I'm sure I would've managed about 5cm and not quite 5 miles but my heart was up for it.

I can take on the world!!

 Once everyone finished the race we did some more posing

Bling bling!

Last race day selfie!

The next most important part of the day was all about food. How many calories did I burn so how many cakes can I stuff into my face?

We ended our race day in the Mount Stuart pub. We chatted about the race, our performance and then which races we would do next while we ate our well earned food.

Photo bombing medal

By the end of the meal, I had agreed to do about 3-4 more races before my Cardiff Half marathon. Have I mentioned previously that I'm running the Cardiff Half marathon??!! Maybe only once or twice.

Now this is the dangerous part of the day. You feel on top of the world and want to do it all over again as soon as possible. This quickly goes from this...

I want to do it all over again!

To this...

I just agreed to what??!!

For me, the best part of the whole day was being with my team and feeling the Pegasus love and support. If you ever consider joining a running club then I say do it. It's the best decision I ever made and my race day was a 1000 times better because of my new running family. I knew I could do it because they helped me train for it and were there to cheer me on. Best. Day. EVER!!

#PushingBackHarder

50 Things That Make Me Happy

A friend of mine recently did a blog called 50 things that make me happy (read it here Seize each day) and it was lovely to read so I thought I'd give it a go too. So in no particular order (except the first one of course)...

1) Winston, my gorgeous boy and faithful companion through all of my ups and downs

2) My parents and big brother

3) My Besty Lynn

4) Spending time with my amazing friends

5) Chocolate

6) Running

7) My running club Pegasus

8) Sunshine

9) My house, it's my little place of peace and happiness

10) A nice cold glass (bottle!) of Asti

11) Living in Cardiff

12) Giggling

13) A dog being rescued

14) My iPad and iPhone because they keep me connected to the world

15) Ben & Jerry's Blondie Brownie with the salted caramel core... mmmmmmmmm

16) My job and my awesome new colleagues

17) All you can eat buffets

18) Comedy, anything that makes me giggle is a winner

19) Yoga

20) Getting a text from a friend

21) Dunking a KitKat Chunky into a cuppa tea... it's the only thing I'll dunk!

22) Fancy shoes

23) A BBQ with good company on a warm evening

24) My blog

25) A really good book

26) Scuba diving

27) Fresh, clean bedding

28) My Garmin

29) Central heating

30) Indoor climbing

31) My car even when it's covered in Winston's hair, his slobber and mud

32) Chick flicks

33) Christmas, all things Christmas

34) Reading about other people's weight loss and how they've changed their lives

35) Tequila

36) Vanilla scented candles

37) Being in love

38) When I run further than I thought I could

39) A hot bath after a good run

40) My 3rd Dan in Taekwondo - never thought I'd even get my 1st Dan

41) Winston's snoring and when he howls and growls in his sleep

42) Meeting new people

43) Cute dog/puppy videos online

44) Game of Thrones (only recently discovered I love it!)

45) When I step onto the weighing scales and I'm in my zone

46) Selfies!

47) Other people's blog. I love getting an invite into someone else's mind

48) Snow

49) When my Besty 'butt messages' me

And finally...

50) CAKE!!

#PushingBackHarder

Self-Esteem Is A B*tch!

My good old friend Ms Low Self-Esteem tried to pay me a visit recently but I have slammed the door in her face and am refusing to let her in and ruin all my hard work.

It all started when I felt sluggish, tired and emotionally a bit unhappy recently so I took myself off to the Doctor to get my blood tested just in case it was linked to thyroid, diabetes, lack of vitamin B or something like that. The Doctor ticked about 12 boxes on the paperwork that I had to take to the blood-stealing-man AKA the Phlebotomist (that word really makes me giggle... I'm 38 FFS!!). The results came back a week later and were all clear. YAY, there's nothing medically wrong with me! But also, CRAP because I don't know what's wrong with me!

I probably should've asked Siri!

I went to work a few days later and had a chat with a colleague who is into weight lifting. He asked about my diet and what I ate in a typical day/week. His response was "so you live on cake, biscuits, fruit and veg with a bit of meat then?!" I had pretty much cut the good carbs out of my diet and I have no idea when I did that. I didn't mean to do it but somewhere along the way I had and I was suffering for it.

He recommended that I eat more potato and sweet potato (apparently oven chips are enough!) and to try and introduce things like quinoa, lentils, cous cous etc to my diet. I also said I'd actually eat breakfast instead of just a banana, apparently breakfast is the most important meal of the day... who knew?!!

Mmmmmmm carbs!

My running had reduced from 4 times a week to 2-3 times since I'd been back working full-time so I knew I needed to sort that out. I have recently joined Pegasus running club and am running with them every Wednesday night plus we do Parkrun on a Saturday and other runs over the weekend.

I told some of the ladies at work about my new healthier eating and exercising more plan and they are joining in with me. Summer is fast approaching and we want to be bikini ready!

I know how you feel cutie-pie!

I decided to start my new healthy eating plan after Easter as I wanted to eat the junk food in my house to make way for my new healthier food. This mission was accomplished and I slipped into a chocolate coma.

Chocolate fuelled zombie

When Easter had been and gone and it was time to get up and go to work, I decided to weighed myself to see what damage I had done. I was shocked... stunned... gobsmacked... I had put on 7lbs in just over 2 months. 7LBS!! That's half a stone!

Exactly!

I spent the next 2 hours kicking myself and giving myself a right b*llocking. I could feel my old insecurities creeping back in, suddenly putting on 7lbs felt as though I had put on 7 stone and my confidence starting slipping away. Luckily I have a Besty who is completely honest with me and told me to get a grip, it's 7lbs which I will easily drop now I've started my healthy eating and exercising more programme.

Now I do agree with Besty but it's not as easy as that where my brain is concerned. I felt anxious and I felt fat. Now before you shout at me, I know I'm not fat but that number on the weighing scales still controls me. It can make me feel amazing or awful within a few seconds.

(Not my feet!)

My first battle was trying not to stuff my face with chocolate and biscuits to get that 'I feel great really' high

I managed to get through the day without eating junk and I felt good. I felt really good! I felt so good that I agreed to do a 10K run with my running club the following night and pair up with one of the girls. This good feeling wore off quickly and I started to stress myself out worrying that I couldn't do the run or that I would slow my running buddy down. I nearly backed out but reminded myself that I have run 10K numerous times and running with someone quicker than me is how I'll improve. I was going to be fine and I was going to feel great afterwards! Hmmmmmm... maybe.

Well I did the run and it was great. We did 10K and got back to the clubhouse before it was dark. We felt amazing... knackered but amazing!

Woooooo hooooooooooo!

I know the success of my healthy eating and exercising plan is to keep an eye on my weight so I decided to weigh myself once a week (on a Friday morning) just to keep myself in check. I stepped on the scales not expecting to see much of a change and was gobsmacked that I'd lost 3lbs in 3 days! 3lbs! That's nearly 1/4 stone! Suddenly my confidence soared and I felt that witch called Ms Low Self-Esteem get a bit further back into her box!

#PushingBackHarder

A Year Ago Today...

A year ago today I moved out of my marital house and into my new home and my new life in Cardiff. I was absolutely terrified about what my new life would have in store for me and whether I was making the right decision or not.

My future self has never been so grateful in all my life. I love myself for being brave enough to make the decision to actually leave my old life and start a new one with a whole load of fear, terror and excitement in my heart.

My best friend in the whole wide world helped me through it. She held my hand, she let me cry and she made me giggle when I was really down. She told me I was strong enough to start my new life on my moving day when I phoned her in tears as I was terrified of what was ahead of me. She helped me move into my lovely new home, she took charge and helped me unpack my air bed so I had somewhere to sleep on my first night. She bought me a plant even though she knows that I kill all living things but its still alive a year later... I see that as a sign! 

See... not dead!

She was my strength when I didn't think I had any and she means more to me than I could ever put in writing.

Yep, we are!

I have amazing friends around me who were there for me when I was low or lonely. They took me out for food, they text me to check I was ok and called me just for a chat when they sensed I wasn't doing very well. My friends live all over the UK but they were so supportive and made the first year of my single life so much easier. I feel so lucky to have them in my life and am grateful every single day.

Tonight I am going out with some of my amazing friends to celebrate my year of freedom and also my 38th birthday which is in a couple of days time. I plan to drink lots, dance lots and laugh constantly. My new life is all about fun and laughter as they are so damn important to me. I was unhappy for so long that I'm making up for it now and won't allow myself to go back to the darkness I found in my last relationship.

I LOVE MY LIFE! I absolutely love my life and I am so damn glad I took the plunge and faced all my fear. I am so happy now and won't let anyone or anything jeopardise that. 

I've learned to always be myself and put happiness first! Life is too short to be anything but happy with your choices.

While writing my blog I came across this and immediately felt that it was written about me.

#PushingBackHarder

Say Yes!

One thing I have learnt over the last few months is that saying yes opens so many doors to new opportunities and experiences. I'm usually one to shy away from new things as I feared I would be rubbish at it so why bother?! But I have completely changed my outlook and am trying so many new things, I'm loving every second of it too. 

In December, a couple of good friends that I used to work with asked me to go climbing with them. They have been asking on and off for about 4 years and I always said no because my ex wasn't happy about it when I mentioned it to him after their first invite. I was... how can I put this diplomatically?.. very controlled by his opinion and going against it wasn't worth the argument so I rarely did anything I wanted. That was as much my fault as his, I could've stood up for myself but I wasn't strong enough so missed out on so many opportunities. All that has changed!

I took my good friends up on their offer and went climbing for the first time. I was pretty terrified as my old fears of "I won't be any good at it!" popped up but I pushed them down and did it anyway. I am hooked! I love climbing, it's such an amazing mental and physical challenge. I have also passed my belay test so don't need to be signed in or supervised any more... I'm a proper climbing now!!

My first night climbing and I haven't looked back since!

I completed a 6a level climb on my 3rd visit... pretty impressive!

The next thing I said yes to was my first Cardiff Parkrun. I was determined to meet new people/runners and make new friends so started chatting away to anyone who would stand still for 5 seconds. Now anyone who really knows me will know what an achievement this is for me. I have made quite a few friends in just a couple of weeks and have also been 'adopted' by a local running club who I will officially join from April.

Me and Katie giving it our all!

I also started a new job at the beginning of February and am having such a good time there. Everyone is so nice and friendly. One of my new colleagues invited us all to a music recital one lunch time and my first response was "nah". I have no idea why that popped into my head first but I soon squashed it down and took her up on the offer. I am so glad I did as the excellent performers were from the Royal Welsh School of Music and Drama in Cardiff, it was a lovely experience and one that I hope to do again.

Full of gifted performers

I've also been invited to a Pampered Chef night at another new colleagues home. I think it's a posh version of a tuppawear party but it means I get to socialise and meet new people so I'm up for it!

www.pamperedchef.co.uk

A quick word or warning... saying yes is great but you also have to have some sort of self-preservation. Don't take unnecessary risks with your health, mental health or life, or with anyone else's for that matter.

Some wise person (I have no idea who) once said... "Say yes more often and your life will lead you in amazing journeys and adventures."

As my Besty asks me every time I have a dilemma "would you rather be on your death bed wishing you'd had the guts to do it or glad that you gave it a go?" I choose glad I did it EVERY time! Life is too short for regrets or 'what ifs', I've learnt that the hard way over the last 30 odd years and I refuse to allow fear to dictate my path in life.

So go out there and grab those opportunities; ask that girl/guy out, take that career leap, go out when you really don't want to, join a club, take up a new hobby, do SOMETHING cos you never know where it might lead or how amazing your next experience will be. Don't do it someday, do it today!

Yes you could fall on your face or feel a bit embarrassed but forget about that and go for it anyway, imagine how awesome it will feel all the times that it goes your way.

#PushingBackHarder