Saturday 21 March 2015

A Year Ago Today...

A year ago today I moved out of my marital house and into my new home and my new life in Cardiff. I was absolutely terrified about what my new life would have in store for me and whether I was making the right decision or not.



My future self has never been so grateful in all my life. I love myself for being brave enough to make the decision to actually leave my old life and start a new one with a whole load of fear, terror and excitement in my heart.




My best friend in the whole wide world helped me through it. She held my hand, she let me cry and she made me giggle when I was really down. She told me I was strong enough to start my new life on my moving day when I phoned her in tears as I was terrified of what was ahead of me. She helped me move into my lovely new home, she took charge and helped me unpack my air bed so I had somewhere to sleep on my first night. She bought me a plant even though she knows that I kill all living things but its still alive a year later... I see that as a sign! 


See... not dead!

She was my strength when I didn't think I had any and she means more to me than I could ever put in writing.


Yep, we are!

I have amazing friends around me who were there for me when I was low or lonely. They took me out for food, they text me to check I was ok and called me just for a chat when they sensed I wasn't doing very well. My friends live all over the UK but they were so supportive and made the first year of my single life so much easier. I feel so lucky to have them in my life and am grateful every single day.




Tonight I am going out with some of my amazing friends to celebrate my year of freedom and also my 38th birthday which is in a couple of days time. I plan to drink lots, dance lots and laugh constantly. My new life is all about fun and laughter as they are so damn important to me. I was unhappy for so long that I'm making up for it now and won't allow myself to go back to the darkness I found in my last relationship.




I LOVE MY LIFE! I absolutely love my life and I am so damn glad I took the plunge and faced all my fear. I am so happy now and won't let anyone or anything jeopardise that. 




I've learned to always be myself and put happiness first! Life is too short to be anything but happy with your choices.



While writing my blog I came across this and immediately felt that it was written about me.



#PushingBackHarder


Monday 2 March 2015

Say Yes!

One thing I have learnt over the last few months is that saying yes opens so many doors to new opportunities and experiences. I'm usually one to shy away from new things as I feared I would be rubbish at it so why bother?! But I have completely changed my outlook and am trying so many new things, I'm loving every second of it too. 



In December, a couple of good friends that I used to work with asked me to go climbing with them. They have been asking on and off for about 4 years and I always said no because my ex wasn't happy about it when I mentioned it to him after their first invite. I was... how can I put this diplomatically?.. very controlled by his opinion and going against it wasn't worth the argument so I rarely did anything I wanted. That was as much my fault as his, I could've stood up for myself but I wasn't strong enough so missed out on so many opportunities. All that has changed!



I took my good friends up on their offer and went climbing for the first time. I was pretty terrified as my old fears of "I won't be any good at it!" popped up but I pushed them down and did it anyway. I am hooked! I love climbing, it's such an amazing mental and physical challenge. I have also passed my belay test so don't need to be signed in or supervised any more... I'm a proper climbing now!!


My first night climbing and I haven't looked back since!

I completed a 6a level climb on my 3rd visit... pretty impressive!

The next thing I said yes to was my first Cardiff Parkrun. I was determined to meet new people/runners and make new friends so started chatting away to anyone who would stand still for 5 seconds. Now anyone who really knows me will know what an achievement this is for me. I have made quite a few friends in just a couple of weeks and have also been 'adopted' by a local running club who I will officially join from April.


Me and Katie giving it our all!

I also started a new job at the beginning of February and am having such a good time there. Everyone is so nice and friendly. One of my new colleagues invited us all to a music recital one lunch time and my first response was "nah". I have no idea why that popped into my head first but I soon squashed it down and took her up on the offer. I am so glad I did as the excellent performers were from the Royal Welsh School of Music and Drama in Cardiff, it was a lovely experience and one that I hope to do again.


Full of gifted performers

I've also been invited to a Pampered Chef night at another new colleagues home. I think it's a posh version of a tuppawear party but it means I get to socialise and meet new people so I'm up for it!


www.pamperedchef.co.uk

A quick word or warning... saying yes is great but you also have to have some sort of self-preservation. Don't take unnecessary risks with your health, mental health or life, or with anyone else's for that matter.


Some wise person (I have no idea who) once said... "Say yes more often and your life will lead you in amazing journeys and adventures."



As my Besty asks me every time I have a dilemma "would you rather be on your death bed wishing you'd had the guts to do it or glad that you gave it a go?" I choose glad I did it EVERY time! Life is too short for regrets or 'what ifs', I've learnt that the hard way over the last 30 odd years and I refuse to allow fear to dictate my path in life.



So go out there and grab those opportunities; ask that girl/guy out, take that career leap, go out when you really don't want to, join a club, take up a new hobby, do SOMETHING cos you never know where it might lead or how amazing your next experience will be. Don't do it someday, do it today!



Yes you could fall on your face or feel a bit embarrassed but forget about that and go for it anyway, imagine how awesome it will feel all the times that it goes your way.




#PushingBackHarder