Dating in the 'Diff Part 3

I haven't written a blog about my dating experiences in a while because I met a man and fell in love. Now before you say "awwwwwww" it all went to shit and I'm single again. There's still no need to say "awwwwww" though because I'm doing ok.

It all started when I was a bit bored over Easter and decided to sign up to POF (AKA Plenty of Fish) as some of my colleagues had told me it's where all the single people in Cardiff hang out. And they weren't wrong, I saw quite a few of the people I had dated or even just messaged with on match.com or Tinder so I quickly blocked them all and started my new online dating experience.

It reminded me that I hate online dating. It sucks. It can make you feel as high as a kite one minute and a self-conscious wreck the next. You have to be pretty damn self-assured to stick it out. 

I lasted 10 days but in those 10 days I chatted to a man and we agreed to meet up. I always try not to get my hopes up before the first 'meet' as people can be so different to their online profiles.

To cut a long story short, we met, we dated, we fell in love, we talked about sharing the future together, we made promises that we probably shouldn't have made yet then eventually our differences started to show and the issues caused weren't fixable. I won't go into details as that's not fair on either of us but recently I made the decision to end it. It was horrible and heartbreaking but I know deep down that it was for the best. He is a lovely man but I'm not the one for him and we both deserve to find our 'one'.

Although I'm sad and feeling hurt by the whole experience, I'm actually proud of myself too. As soon as I realised that things weren't going to improve and the issues would always be part of the relationship, I decided to end it instead of fearing that any relationship would be better than no relationship. Old Sara would have clung on for dear life rather than be single. This Sara is not afraid to be single and sometimes feel a bit lonely, she knows her own worth and that being in no relationship is better than being in one that isn't working. Sometimes I can't believe how much I've changed over the last 18 months.

So it's just me and my gorgeous boy again for a while. 

I'm sure running shoes count!

I'm going to focus on me. I've just signed up for the Manchester marathon in April 2016 so need to sort out a training plan and stick to it. This will involve a lot of running, eating, aching, sleeping and feeling a whole range of emotions. It's going to be awesome!

Yeah I am!

I'm going to spend more time seeing friends and having fun. My first year in Cardiff was pretty lonely but this year I've made more friends and become part of a running club family. I feel so grateful as I have a fantastic circle of amazing people in my life who are all extremely supportive of me and believe in me. 

I was shopping a couple of months ago and came across a pink notebook with gold writing on the front that simply said "Believe in yourself" and I knew I had to buy it. I got it home but quickly realised I had no idea what to write in it. It suddenly felt like I didn't know how to believe in myself any more so I put it to one side and left it there. 

Recently I was watching a documentary and I heard a Doctor say she used to write "I accept myself unconditionally right now" on the bottom of every prescription she gave out as she was aware that so many people just didn't accept themselves. I know I've let my self-esteem slip recently and know that I'd never actually got to a point where I felt like I accepted myself but I really, really want to. That quote was the first thing I wrote in my new notebook and now it's time to focus on me, to prioritise me, to believe in myself again. 

Cardiff Half Marathon... I Nailed It!

On Sunday I ran the Cardiff Half Marathon! I did it! I nailed it and it was awesome!

My excitement started on Saturday morning while having a cuppa with some of Pegasus after parkrun. Most people were nervous but I was already feeling like it was Christmas Eve. I kept myself busy all day and had an early night, I surprisingly slept really well so woke up at 5.30am feeling refreshed and ready to rock the run.

I posted a quick message on the Pegasus Facebook club to make sure they all knew how excited and giddy I was then got up.

I thought I should warn them!

My morning of getting ready went a bit like this... pee, sort my dog out, pee, eat breakfast, pee, take a shower, pee, drive to work to park my car, pee and then I walked over to the museum.

13.1 miles were waiting for me

I met my awesome running family, Pegasus, for pre-run chitchat and giddiness.

One very excited Peg!

After a while it was time to pee again then we all lined up ready for the Pegasus pre-run photo. As usual, a few Les Croupier runners jumped in on our fun.

Say Pegs Rule!

After the photo and then 7th toilet stop, we walked over to the baggage tents to dump our bags and made our way over to the starting pens. We passed a couple of important signs on the way.

*gulps*

I want to go there now!

Myself, Katie, Natalie and Clare were all starting in the yellow pen as we'd estimated our completion times as 2 and a 1/2 hours upwards when we signed up to the race.

The race officially started at 9am but we knew it would take a little while for us to get to the actual start as 23,000 runners had entered.

I'm in there somewhere

The first selfie of the day

Just a few people in front of us

A short wait later and we were moving closer and closer to the start. Everyone was very excited and nervous, there was music playing and so we had a little dance to keep warm and buzzing.

If you squint you can see the start!

We were at the start before we knew it and on our way. Natalie and Clare run quicker than Katie and I so we all shouted good luck to each other and they disappeared into the crowd.

Can you spot me??!!

The first mile of any run for me is usually torture as my body tries to remember how to function and questions WTF I am doing to myself. The first mile of the Cardiff half was amazing, the route was lined with people cheering us on and it flew by. We ran pass my friend Michelle's house and she was in her front garden waiting to wish me luck.

At some point during the next mile, a complete and utter psycho on a push bike decided to cross the road and weaved in between all the runners. He had a pink suitcase balancing on his handlebars and nearly rode straight into Katie. I have no idea how he didn't hurt someone. What a total idiot! 

My thoughts exactly Jackie

The following few miles went so quickly. Katie kept a close eye on our pace to make sure we didn't get carried away and ruin our game plan. We'd trained all year for this day and didn't want to take any chances.

The crowd were out in force and it felt so surreal. We were actually running the Cardiff Half marathon. We were doing it! The miles ticked by and very soon we were coming up to the barrage at Cardiff Bay.

As we ran over the barrage we passed the Royal Welsh soldiers and a couple of firemen, it was time for a hottie hunting selfie.

Spot the hotties!

The halfway mark came and my knees were starting to ache a bit, I've never had knee pain while running before so this was new! I decided to ignore my body and just keep focusing on the amazing crowd and atmosphere of the day, I was on a runners high.

One of the best things is to see someone you know in the crowd. It's awesome and as we ran up to Cardiff Prison we saw my man so I ran over for a quick kiss then we ran up Fitzalan Place and spotted Andrew and Helen, our fellow Pegs.

Hallelujah!

The next few miles ticked on by and we were soon running towards Roath Park. I did a lot of my training around this area so I was very happy that this was part of the route and towards the end of it as well. 

Mile 11 and the final water station

The last mile of any long run is very hard and it seems like it will just go on forever. This wasn't the case at the Cardiff Half, we were soon running passed the 13 mile marker and the finish was in sight. As we got closer we passed my man again and then I saw my best friend Lynn. I was so happy that she was there to watch me cross the finish line, she has been my biggest cheerleader over the last 18 months and I felt very emotional that she was watching me achieve this.

The finish got closer and closer and we picked up our pace. We didn't have enough in us to do a sprint finish but we finished our 13.1 mile run in style! It took us 2 hours, 43 minutes and 13 seconds - a new PB as it was our first half marathon.

WE DID IT!!

We picked up our t-shirt and medal then went to get our bags and make our way back over to the museum to meet the rest of the Pegs, they're quicker than us so had already finish. There was lots of hugging and then we were ready for our after photo. 

Happy and tired Pegs

Can't. Stop. Smiling!

A lot of the Pegs started walking over to the Urban Tap House where we were meeting for food. I stayed behind to chat to my Besty, Lynn, and her husband for a bit then Steve, my man and I decided to wander through the runners village on the way over to meet the others. We stopped at the Brooks stand as we'd heard that they were giving away blue shades. I asked what I had to do in order to get free stuff and the Brooks lady handed me an iPad where I filled out my name and email address, I was then able to help myself to the goodies on the table. She also said I could have a go in the lucky dip. I dug into the bin and pulled out a ping pong ball with a picture of a little trainer on it. I had won a pair of trainers. I WON A PAIR OF BROOKS TRAINERS!! Brooks are an excellent running brand and come with a larger price tag than I usually look at, I'd probably never be able to afford to buy myself a pair and now I was getting some for free! 

My goodies and winning ticket!

Damn right!

We stopped off at a couple of other stands and picked up free chocolate then went to join the others. My amazing Besty Lynn and her lovely hubby had given me a gift bag full of pressies before they left, a couple of them weren't wrapped so I dug them out and put on my new tiara and held up my trophy.

Running Princess

We all stuffed our faces and then piled in for another group photo. We never tire of taking photos!

Fed and happy!

Race stories were shared and arrangements for celebratory drinks later that evening were made. It was time to go home and relax for a while, maybe even have a little nap.

My medal and t-shirt!

When I got home I had a hot bath then made a cuppa and opened my pressies

Ooooooooo I wonder what they are!

Lynn knows me so well. Sweets, chocolate, bath bomb and a smelly candle. Result!

Best post-run pressies ever!

Winston had stayed home and his dog walker had popped over to walk him for me so I didn't have to rush back. He always likes a photo with my new medal... a bit too much in this case!

My boy!

I think this is the nicest medal I have received so far and I am so chuffed that the Roath Park clock tower is the feature of it.

My beautiful medal

The Cardiff Half marathon was more amazing that I could've ever thought possible. I was completely overwhelmed by the whole event. A year of training paid off and I was able to enjoy the phenomenal experience. Katie and I laughed and chatted the whole way round the route which just added to it. The organisation of the race was out of this world and the crowds cheering us on were incredible. 

I am so proud of myself. A year ago I crashed and burned. I have never been as low as I was then and I never imagined how different my life would be now. People say that life is full of highs and lows and I've experienced my lowest low and my highest high within a year of each other. I love my life. I actually love myself and that is one thing I never thought I would do. 

I still can't believe I did it, I completed the Cardiff Half marathon and I totally nailed it!!