Well hello there!

I decided to start a blog to share my struggles and triumphs in life. I have low self-esteem and this plays a massive role in every part of my life, from figuring out what to wear in the morning to deciding where to live and whether to change my career or not. Sometimes it's all just a bit too much and I want to just run away. I'm hoping that this blog will be therapeutic and maybe even a bit entertaining.

So here's a little bit about me, I won't bore you with too much info.

I'm mid-late 30s (clinging onto that 'mid' bit for dear life!), divorced and I have a dog called Winston who is my everything.

Find him on Twitter @winstonswoofs - he's very funny!

I love to run, hike and do yoga - I have only been doing properly these for about 3 months, the other times I just kinda dabbled.  So far I'm still in the 'but it hurts' phase of running due to injury, a cold and rock bottom confidence.

I also like baking cakes... and eating cakes... hence the running!

I was overweight and bullied at school, my late teens and most of my 20s were spent yo-yo dieting and feeling like a failure and I've never really accepted or loved myself.  My self-esteem is at about 25% right now but I am very good at hiding it so people think I'm a

confident person.

I am finally at the weight I've always wanted to be but it hasn't made me happy like I thought it would. I'm very good at thinking 'when I've done..., then I'll be happy' but life isn't like that. The running is helping to tone me up a bit but as we all know, once the skin is stretched it's very hard to fix it so that kicks my self-esteem in the nuts every time I allow myself to dwell on it.

My goal is to believe this about myself:

My Besty is my inspiration and also my biggest cheerleader, for some reason she thinks I'm already awesome... you know who you are chick-a-dee!

Right now I'm in a holiday cottage in the Brecon Beacons with nobody except my dog.
This is my first every holiday on my own without another person to keep me company, entertain me or do the things that I'm too scared to do.  I am doing it all by myself and feeling a little bit proud.

#PushingBackHarder

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